Hello from a old stutter.....
I just found this site and thought I'd join. Here is my story, both the good and bad. But, I think it is a success story.
Married (32 years -- to the same beautiful wife! She has a mentally challenged brother and could overlook my stuttering.)
Children: 5 (ages 31, 28, 25, 13, and 11) last two adopted from China. My wife in Chinese as well.
Grand Children: 3 (two girls, one boy)
Served in Navy for 6 years (1974 -1980). How did I get in??? Screamed in pillow the night of the physical; so I was horse the day of the physical. I was one determined young man.......
**Education: B.S Computer Science
**Religion: Christian, Saved by God's grace.
**Occupation: Computer Scientist. Worked start-ups, eventually got burnt out, Now have a much slower passed weekday job.
#1: Buy and sell foreclosures. On the weekends, I do drywall, plumbing, electrical, framing, Windows, new kitchens/baths, etc, etc. And make a nice return as well!!
#3 Playing with kids and grand kids.
- Balding; 6' 3", a good 20 pounds over weight. (e.g. pleasantly plump)
**How is my stuttering:
-- It varies. But, can be very bad, takes me 15 seconds to say a simple sentence. Other times, no problem.
-- I noticed, that when I was younger, strangers thought I was inherently evil (since I jerked my head, stuck out my tongue, blinked my eyes, etc).
-- Now, since I look old, people just have a sorry/sad expression for me. (I guess that's better then thinking I'm evil....)
**What caused my stuttering:
-- My father had a very mild stutter. His brother (my uncle) had a little more of a stutter.
-- As a boy, my father was in and out of an insane asylum. When he came home it could be rough......
*** Odd stories:
-- My biggest fear is that one of my kids would reject me because they are teased about me. Has not happened. BTW: My three grown children are all very successful in their own fields as well.
-- People have difficulty understanding that I am a regular person with a problem. For example:
++ When they meet me, they think I am: dumb, evil, crazy, etc.
++ But, then if I do something smart or kind, they think I'm: brilliant, generous, etc.
++ In other words, people cannot seem to understand I am a regular person with a problem (with good and bad traits, but that I need to be somehow 'intrinsically different').
**Any advice to give younger fellow stutters:
-- Never ever settle for second best. Never think that you can't have a good life because of your speech. Maybe you can't be a trial attorney, but you can pick a well paying career that does not require persuasive speech.
-- You *WILL* get laughed at, get odd glances. SUCK IT UP, and just do what you need to do. If you don't, you'll be a looser.
++ Caveat: I feel like crying sometimes when this happens to me. It hurts so bad. But, what's your choice? Give up and die, or keep on going?
-- Be very careful how you dress and how you act. When people see someone 'different' they know it's rude to stare. So, sometimes people who are 'different' feel ignored. To compensate they try to get attention. (e.g. they get tired of being ignored, try to get attention). Don't do it. I have found that a stutter needs to try to 'fit in' with cloths and things.
+++ But, I drive a huge 2014 Chevy Silverado.... Sorry, I just could not help myself..... :-)
** Do I want to stop stuttering:
-- I have so changed on this topic. When I was younger I would do anything to stop stuttering. In fact multiple times I contemplated suicide (while in High School) But, as I aged and I grew more and more accomplished I slowly changed. Stuttering is now who I am. But, I really get annoyed that I cannot communicate; however, I get a certain amount of respect (e.g. he has accomplished so much and yet he stutters). So, I don't know, I guess the answer is that I have peace with who I am, and don't need to change.
-- ****BUT*** I encourage and applaud anyone who can shake this problem that I have not been able to....
**** Biggest accomplishments:
-- I have 13 United States patents; and 4 of these are international registered with the WIPO - World Intellectual Property Organization.
-- Have a wonderful family.
-- Provide very well for my family.
-- by God's grace am a Christian.
Well, it's something that I'm struggling with and it's the reason that I'm here on this forum. Oftentimes, as stutterers we find ourselves in situation in which we have no idea of what it is like to be fluent. So we've spent most of our time struggling on a regular basis with that impediment. But one thing that I'll be doing is to see how I can shake things up in my life. Thanks for sharing your story.